What men are looking for women?
What kind of men are looking for women? I told my psychologist friend that I was writing this book. Do you know what he asked? “Will you call the men to stop complaining that women need only their checkbooks, position or other nonsense?”
I totally agree with him. What kind of men are looking for women? Passive men always say that, because they do not feel the strength to attract a woman with personal qualities. They feel that they must have some signs of masculinity - well-being, position, acquaintance. They feel that without these attributes can not claim the position of a strong side in the relationship.
Of course, the career successes of men are important for women, but in the overwhelming majority of cases this interest is not related to a bank account held by a post or an academic degree. For women, this is an indicator of a man’s ability to achieve the desired, that is, an indicator of strength of character. If a man is resolutely striving to achieve his goals, then it does not really matter what he becomes - the company's founder or general.It is important for a woman to see: a man can achieve what he wants. That's what attracts her.
I once talked to a young woman in her thirties, named Jade. She was very disappointed with her relationship with a man. Over the three years of dating, they have become good friends. They went somewhere together when they had no romantic dates with other partners. That is, they helped each other fill gaps in their personal lives. They could often be seen together, and the friends of both sides wondered why they were still not together. I asked the same.
“Everything is very strange,” said Jade. - I myself would like to understand whether we can have a serious relationship. I know that Justin takes this question too. In any case, when I tell him about my meetings with other men, he doesn’t miss the opportunity to insert: “If I’d met you, I would have done this or that,” depending on how you behave my fans. I know that he has an interest in me. But he is afraid to show it. It does not seem that for me he could take any serious step. I feel good with him, but I do not feel that he is attracted to me.If he invites me somewhere, it is always, by the way: “Why don't we go to the cinema if you're not busy?” This attitude is not suitable for dating. For me Justin as a girlfriend.
"All right," I said, "can I ask you one question?" Imagine that today Justin comes to you, rings the doorbell and says: “I have had enough. You and I will have a real date. According to the full program. Pretty fool around. What are you doing Friday night? Keep in mind: I seriously suggest that you come with me. Not to stagger and kill time. I invite you on a date - as a young man invites a girl. ” Imagine such a picture. What do you say?
- Oh my God! I think your words made me very excited, "Jade said. It was fun to see her flushed and confused.
“Yeah,” I said. - So that's what you do. Call your friend and say: “Justin, explain to me, please. Recently, we met with you, and you behaved somehow unusually, as if flirting with me. What do you want? Do you want us to remain friends or think about other relationships? Determine. Either we remain only friends, or we start dating for real.I do not expect you to answer this minute. Think, and then call me, but behave like an adult man: either invite me on a date, or say that you will remain my friend, and nothing more. If you want to be just a friend - fine, but then give up ambiguity.
- Terrific! - Jade exclaimed. - I'll do it. I am sick of the uncertainty. Justin is time to show their masculine essence!
Remarkable words, and I completely agree with them. Why didn't Jade feel anything? Why didn’t a spark come between Justin and her? Jas-ting was a very attractive, handsome and well-mannered person. Both friends and Jade's family adored him. Her parents dreamed of such a son-in-law. But Justin behaved passively, his testosterone was hiding in the depths of the body and did not show itself. He didn’t do anything that Jade could respond to.
Jade did not seek to seize power. No, she just wanted to feel needed and not be afraid that she was being used. Like any woman, she wanted to feel welcome and not to doubt it. It was important for her to know that she was being sought, that they were thinking of her, that time was planning for her.She needed attention and initiative from a man to respond to them.
When Jade called Justin to find out the relationship, it turned out that he and his mistress — their mutual acquaintance — had left for Las Vegas. Jade then told me that such a denouement confirmed her vague suspicions about Justin. But the Jade story shows why you need to be on your guard with passive men: they often lead a double life.
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