How to recognize and cope with emotional abuse?
Violence can be not only physical, but also emotional. And it causes no less harm, so you need to recognize it and stop it in time.
What it is?
Emotional, moral or psychological violence is a form of violence that can cause injury, but not physical, but psychological. This is a kind of pressure on the psyche by methods that are not related to physical exposure. This type is most often found within families or in the workplace. And, as a rule, pressure is put on the weak, for example, on children or on people exposed to another's influence and not having willpower.
There are many different manifestations of emotional abuse, but they all come together in several categories. Allocate such species as:
- Verbal, that is, verbal aggression. Its main feature is the impact on the victim through words.
- Dominant behavior.In this case, the rapist in every possible way tries to show his superiority so that the victim feels worthless and defenseless.
- Jealousy, especially pathological and unreasonable, is also one of the types of psychological violence, and its manifestations can be obvious and extremely radical.
The causes of emotional abuse can vary. Here are some possible:
- The weakness of the rapist. In order not to feel worthless, he may find a weaker person and, through violence, confirm his imaginary strength.
- Low self-esteem and the desire for self-assertion. If a person is not an accomplished and self-sufficient person and often faces setbacks, he will look for any ways to prove to everyone around him and himself that something is worth. And it's the easiest way to do this by subordinating someone else or putting pressure on him.
- Communication problems, inability to interact with people. Often, perpetrators are people who cannot express their thoughts, seek compromises, or achieve what they want through conversations and other interaction options.
- Wrong education.If parents since childhood allowed the offspring of everything, then it is likely that he will feel like the “navel of the Earth” and allow himself any liberties, including in relation to other people.
- Various mental disorders, such as sociopathy, narcissism, depressive disorders, and so on.
How to identify violence?
Manifestations of moral violence can be very diverse, and a person may not even guess what the victim is. If moral pressure is practiced in the family, then the spouses often look quite happy. Moreover, in some cases, the rapist is not aware of his guilt, and the victim perceives the harm caused by him as something completely normal.
This may be due either to extreme depression and apathy caused by pressure, or to misconceptions about interpersonal relationships. In other words, the victim may simply become accustomed to the effects and come to terms with it or, due to insufficient or improper upbringing, have no idea that it is negative.
Psychologists identify several levels of psychological violence:
- Behavior Monitoring.The rapist in every way controls his victim, and at all levels, including any actions, social circle, hobbies and so on.
- The control of thinking, as a rule, manifests itself in certain attitudes imposed by the rapist on the victim, as a result of which she can no longer think independently and make decisions.
- Control on an emotional level. As a rule, rapists, especially “with experience” masterly control the emotions of the victim, manipulating them or causing the effect of the so-called swing, that is, dramatically changing the mood from elevated to depressed and in reverse order.
- Information control. Since the Internet and the media have become an integral part of life, rapists are well aware that various forums, magazines and websites can have a direct impact on the perception, thoughts and psyche of the victim. And therefore, a person who exerts pressure will do his best to control the incoming information, prohibiting certain books, Internet resources, and so on.
How is violence manifested?
You can identify it by such signs as:
- constant criticism, extremely negative evaluation of any actions, thoughts and actions;
- Isolation of the victim, attempts to limit her social circle, or to completely stop any ties with friends and even relatives;
- expression of contempt, all kinds of verbal humiliation and insults, extremely unpleasant calls;
- attempts to instill fear, verbal threats of a different nature, blackmail;
- total control of action, surveillance;
- the imposition of their own thoughts and attitudes;
- various accusations against the victim, infusion of feelings of guilt;
- aspiration for constant presence, escort of the victim;
- sexual abstinence;
- attempts to make the victim perform all the orders of the rapist, turn her into a servant;
- emotional manipulation, intentional evocation of certain emotions;
- attempts to instill the idea that the rapist and the victim - a single entity;
- the desire to prove their superiority;
- bans on certain actions, for example, visiting certain sites, meeting with certain people and even for hobbies and work.
If the pressure is not on you, but on another person, then to recognize in it the victim will be much more difficult. But still some symptoms may indicate that emotional violence is present.Such signs as depression, apathy, despondency, low self-esteem, refusal to communicate with certain people, unreasonable termination of work or a favorite cause, and so on, should seem suspicious.
How to cope with violence?
How to deal with pressure, how to survive emotional abuse? Help in this advice:
- The first step is to recognize yourself as a victim. You need to analyze the relationship or communication with the abuser and understand that his behavior is not normal and hurts you.
- Put your balance, safety and calm in the first place. Even if you love a person, understand that you must take care of yourself first and foremost.
- If you do not plan to stop communicating with the person who is harming you, then mark the boundaries of communication with him. Put forward the conditions on which you are ready to continue the interaction, express your point of view and show that you are determined.
- Try to change the reaction to attempts at violence. Do not show emotions, try to respond calmly or ignore the words and actions of the abuser. And in order to knock him out of a rut and show that you are not his servant or victim, repay it with the same coin: for example, reply with an insult to an insult.
- What if you can’t handle the problem yourself? Ask for help and tell everyone close and dear to help you find a solution and get free. You can also visit a psychologist who will allow you to open your eyes to what is happening and understand that you need to change something.
- The best option is to stop any contact with the perpetrator.
The consequences of moral violence can be extremely negative. The victim will feel depressed, insignificant, weak. Such thoughts and emotions can lead to severe depression and even thoughts about suicide. In some cases, in the absence of timely assistance, it all ends with suicide.
Fight violence to become a free and happy person or to help someone.
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